this morning went to NUH have last follow-up. saw patients being pushed around on wheel chairs n beds, let mi tot of the truama i went thru 4 months ago.. i am realli veri scared of health problems now. once bitten twice shy. saw the patients there u will realli think abt wat's life all abt. once u have a health problem, no matter how gorgeous or how high flying u once were will disappear at once. u will be lonely n only envious how happy u once were n yearned to have the same kind of life back then n when u noe it's impossible u will realli breakdown. n the worst thing is that u let down ur parents n vanish their efforts n hopes showered upon u n they would also be pathetic when they become senior citizens.
n once again, on a lovely fri nite, i am back alone at home facing pc then listening to music.. feeling realli empty..
alone 10:06 AM